Praise the Lord ladies! First and foremost, I absolutely love our page. I think it's a great way for us to connect on a much deeper level, sharing our struggles and our victories. I rarely talk about the past, so I will share my story before I wimp out. All I ask is that whatever is said in the next few sentences, remain here, with us. And that whomever reads this, may be blessed.
Now I know we've all hid something behind our smiles before, because when it comes down to it, we can be such great actresses. I'd consider myself a pro to be honest; there is much more to the superficial Andrea most of you have met.
To begin with, my upbringing was not all so great. My parents divorced when I was only 2 years old, so as expected my father wasn't in the picture. That affected me in so many ways. Since then, I never knew what having a family felt like. My mom was always so busy working to keep my brother and me stable. I honestly hold no resentment towards her for it, unlike my brother, I understood. My mom eventually remarried when I was 8 years old. The man she vowed to be with until the end was the same man who would bring a great deal of unhappiness to our new "family.” This is where it all began.
To begin with, my upbringing was not all so great. My parents divorced when I was only 2 years old, so as expected my father wasn't in the picture. That affected me in so many ways. Since then, I never knew what having a family felt like. My mom was always so busy working to keep my brother and me stable. I honestly hold no resentment towards her for it, unlike my brother, I understood. My mom eventually remarried when I was 8 years old. The man she vowed to be with until the end was the same man who would bring a great deal of unhappiness to our new "family.” This is where it all began.
He was an abusive and beyond impulsive man. For years I saw my mother be beat to the ground. This all created hate within me. To witness your mother being put down by a coward is the most horrible feeling. It made me feel so helpless, because whenever I tried to get in between, it was just as worse for me. There came a point where I did blame my mother for it, I just couldn't fathom the reasons why she stayed with this man or why she would take it all in. I began to doubt her love towards us, her children. When you're part of an abusive family, you become all messed up in the head. I felt so unworthy, low, unloved, scared. I became traumatized and any little thing would set me off.
Finally, when I was about 10/11 years old, we came to church. I was a very negative and disturbed child. At only 10 years old, I had seen more than I should have. I was so hurt. I didn't get entirely involved in church until about 3 years ago, in 2011. I remember once praying in my room late at night. I felt beyond lonely and there was still a lot of pain. But I prayed. For the first time, I truly prayed. I remember just bawling, I didn't even say much. The feeling of peace and comfort I felt afterwards is what made me realize that there was a God and He had been by my side all along. He worked immensely in my home.
Now, my mother doesn't attend church, or no one in my family for that matter but I can say that a lot has changed since then. Coming to Christ was the best "escape.” Honestly, if my mom wouldn't have dragged me each Sunday morning, I don’t like to think of where I'd be right at this moment. I'm still in prayer for my family to completely come to Christ. Rather than being beat by my past, I have used it to build myself. It's what has kept me going. This and much more is what created my passion for what I love to do: mimes.
It's my way of showing my gratitude towards our good Lord for all that He's done and continues to do in my life because He sure isn't done with me. "The most sincere pantomime's are those brought together in pure darkness, where all you can do is offer each movement to God, in hope that He'll receive your worship as broken as you are" -A quote for what I do. If you sing, sing to where you can be heard across the world. If you play an instrument, go hard, make the noise because our mighty God is the reason for our joy, the reason for our genuine smiles. I just want to remind you all that it doesn't matter what your past consists of, JESUS can mend every unbearable wound.
I hope that this piece of my testimony has spoken to someone and just keep in mind that our worst moments in life come to be our best testimonies. You are ALL beautiful. I pray that you are all blessed :)
I hope that this piece of my testimony has spoken to someone and just keep in mind that our worst moments in life come to be our best testimonies. You are ALL beautiful. I pray that you are all blessed :)
Andrea, thank you so much for stepping out and sharing a small piece of your testimony. We love you and are praying for you and your family! God bless you!
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